Sometimes, it’s hard to find anything new in a movie, and other times, it’s hard to find new directors who are willing to try out new techniques. I wouldn’t want to argue over whose artistic endeavors are considered the best, or even try to persuade anyone because it would be somewhat unreasonable. Every once in a while, I come across an artist who creates something that could only be described as one-of-a-kind.
Some artists are remembered for their ‘Hollywood’ fantasies and Zia Anger is one of them as she completely disregards her viewers in her film My First Film. It is hard to discern the boundary between films and say anything because My First Film is in fact a hybrid. As a cinematic “always all ways” which is what Anger calls her first ever film, hasn’t been contested since it film through Anger’s eyes just started to be Modified on IMDb. A sharp inner narrative target to fire up those artists who have ever been unsure or unsure of their art at least once. Don’t be afraid of self-analysis it’s possible and necessary to think up beautiful and inspired ideas in a broken way where personal aesthetics and uniqueness are plenty and the work is individualized and different. And for this, Anger has admitted her failings. The first movie is devastating and can be taken as a tribute to a woman’s thought process and the essence of filmmaking or rather artistic work.
Ken Anger started his career as an artist and has engaged himself in artistic endeavors in the form of music videos, theatre, and short films. In 2018, she started off a solo performance by first discussing her experiences with her first film that did not turn out well. From her viewpoint, it was a bad shoot and Anger had no chance to save her vision until the entire crew left. This internal emptiness compared to a death wound, the ‘failure’ of the film shattered all dreams about her. Indeed, all this feels personal and unique to Anger’s history but the film goes well beyond that, especially in regard to emerging artists, but quite a lot more, for the time, for the transient time of ignorant early twenties, the time of self-building and constructing the role of self in relation to the rest of the world.
The film starts with a blank white screen with a blinking cursor in the middle, and we take it from there, the sound of the ‘old’ style mechanical keyboard is accompanied by some nervous fingers.
This is hilarious, my videos are not the movie XD However, there is something that I want to say to the audience: the first thing that they need to take away from the first frame is “joy”. And I would like to thank each one of you for your opinion. Your viewership is something that is a great privilege to have. A feeling greater than all your dreams can buy. So why did this particular thing touch me? We had only seen 15 seconds and I already started to cry. “I am very happy that you get such pleasure watching,” she explains about their long way to the position where they are. Democracy is not just a vague object in the frame And Anger understands that it is. So Anger “My First Film” sees things from a very different angle. It has a slightly different approach to the relationship between the client and the psychotherapist. They seem somehow to be postmodern and neoliberal.
The documentary includes a mix of collage and Anger’s own footage but what is the most vivid aspect of the film are its recreations. Odessa Young plays Anger (whom she refers to as Vita in ‘My First Film’) and she seems to be feral, anarchic, and multifaceted. She is portrayed as neurotic with delusions of grandeur trying to boss her crew and the lead ‘actress’ who is ‘over-trained’. In the photographs, there are two mothers of Anger, while in the film, during the narration, she is talking about her childhood near Lavender Hill which in the 1970s was a place for lovers and humanistic endeavors. A few mothers came from this group married to didawanganer. Because one of those mothers was a true mime, Anger decided to insert into her piece a rather simplistic exploitation of one of her mother’s performances where she mimed in a flow released. Filming her mother Vita knows that in this world lies a thing so beautiful and perfect that it should only be allowed to exist under specific conditions. She ‘puts forward’ these thoughts to a new media company but they consider it ‘preposterous’.
Vita felt invincible at one point, and she recalls that she had set the bar in regard to the movies she was about to see which is the reason why she deemed any film she watched before unsatisfactory. She saw the solution as simple, she instructed herself to go ahead and make the film that she once wished to see without any motivation. It was effortless as she was funded which made the motivation that lacked previously come into existence. What her friends and brief relationships aided in her film was the script, that she created previously. So the storyline was that she directed it in such a way that all the pressure of the ‘cut’ phrase was set to her. Such pressure of giving the perfect cut led to her not being able to convey her ideas accurately which as a result made several situations lie outside her comfort zone. In an instance when her partner wanted to engage in conversation, she was determined to spend the breaks talking, so they would alternate. It made perfect sense that intimacy was coupled with the art of conversation in her opinion. When both the partners felt that the time was suitable, they naturally directed the conversation to the project which had funny and awkward effects for both the partners and those around them. It is quite disappointing to say and very childish but trivial things make people blurt out ‘ops’ when things don’t go their way. You could say that her attempts did end off perfectly, however, it was towards the conclusion that due to anger she later reflexively stated and said sorry.
Allow me to tell you my story “I’ll be back” My only regret is that sometimes words can grab you more than a visual such as ‘Now watch my fingers’. It was supposed to be a compliment to her but it didn’t go as planned.
Then she begins defining who she is by saying that she did set to work in a rebel’s posture and in a world of her fantasies that she created without much care for symmetry. Such symmetries were unchanging in the life of the neorealistic film director Deren`s early orbit youth resembles that of an immigrant’s surrealistic exotic reality ” the roaming mother” who went to the exotic America with Cosy Lushin, returned parented child back to London a father. More often than not Julie is remembered through a number of quotes that encompass her life goal “I sat there, with all the pieces in place, and yes, maybe not willingly, but now I need to be a steward for this universe.”
Anger’s film convinces her that entering into such a reality is not without danger even for herself. Each time the young director was more and more fascinated by extreme forms of anything she was and wanted trouble. It was in explanation of reality where strong emotions were required for the act of the love-creating process. How much more vivid shocking and surprising for Michael’s sensations was the fact that his own lens contained utterances about the basic principles of that another world and that society which made him dumb while uttering about bomb culture.
Sandi Tan’s movie “Shirkers” integrates Tan’s longing for the film with the cliche storyline of a filmmaker’s unfamous first film, rather than tarnishing the definition of the quote ‘Falling in love with making something’ which becomes a bit weak in the sense of feeling. It is not so much to do with the object as it is all too painful to hear. Anger brings both the inner self and the outer self and the creative self-selling of the film. Michael Alden Hadreas’ Perfume Genius tracks done music animation in the scenes, so always shifts within, bringing up and scening up the imagery to a dreaming background.
As you move ahead in life, you remember the time when you were young and it is something that you are able to look back at and find interesting. This is perhaps the reason owing to which “My First Film” manages to have a semi-comedy throughout the film. But Anger does not intend to view these men as scornful, but rather. Young is quiet and one can perceive her on-screen as blazing with fury and anguish while being filled with desire and optimism as well Vita is genuinely a being rather than a figure on the feature. At this moment, “Self-empowerment narratives” and “feeling distressed as a woman” film seem to be in vogue. However, the question that these movies seek to address is what do these movies overlook? Always cracking up while portraying “a badass” is as bad as being a “Princess in a tower” which the oppressed beast personifies. This is what is between the two extremes What has been termed as humanity.
The final part of ‘My First Film’ hits the peak of the tension where now it has become unbearable to the point where it gets cut abruptly and once again there is a white screen that suddenly appears followed by a cursor that blinks. There is a writer who is on the superstitious side who is not available, who says:
“Hello? Are you there?.”
Yeah, we are here. Yes. We are not departing. We want more.
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