
Wow, this movie is a piece of work. Worst part is, it’s not even a work of art. This isn’t what you call a ‘cinematic experience’ and a prime example would be Lumina because its nothing like a ‘film’. The best comparison would be that awful movie ‘The Room’ and i can easily say it is alongside ‘Bir emic’ in its attempts to be a ‘gloriously dramatic failure’. It has poorly executed meshed plots of mangled scripts which seem like they were made by dull witted machines. Judging by the way things were, it all pointed towards that being the final outcome. To think the final result would make sense is laughable.
There is ‘Eric Roberts’, one of the most renowned people for working hard physically in the film industry, and he is able to sneak in and out of the set for a few minutes while perfectly timing the delivery of his sass in order to set some absurdity to the scene. But this film immediately loses them in a whirlpool of stupidity that this man seems to fully support. Robert is also known for starring in and producing over 700 movies so it’s obvious he’s topping the charts but now to end the sentence, It is easy to think some of them might face the same fate as this film.
“Lumina” opens as a relationship drama somewhat off a scripted love story, which features Alex (Rupert Lazarus) in the company of a woman named Tatiana (Eleanor Williams). Alex’s character story all but finds itself in stagnation due to the influence of an ex girlfriend named Delilah (Andrea Tirado), who tries to overshadow him the moment the wheels of the plot start to churn in the romantic direction. Well, aliens tell their strange story later, primarily because of the poor CGI efforts there’s a sequence in which a satellite turned bearded woman named Tatiana gets kidnapped, and Alex witnesses her being brought aboard a space ship.
This translates him into a heartbroken man who slaps on a cheap wig and becomes unbothered to whisper into a flat voice he once held Alex is seen pondering his broken relationship. My interpretation of Alex looking into the still water of a pool and waiting for a disoriented Tatiana to surface seemed inappropriately unbelievable, I happy Gilmore slater man nogs Aldric at se’. If this was meant to elicit humor, then yes it succeeded. But still, this shot doesn’t seem to contribute any ideas to the film.
All of a sudden, Alex, Delilah, Patrician (Sidney Nicole Rogers), as well as George (Ken Lawson) are off to several countries in search of Tatiana. They get into the hands of enigmatic alien kidnapper, whom Roberts does not in fact resemble at all, called Thom, and this is what was mentioned above in the cameo apportion, a short scene that was done within twenty four hours to raise funds for the movie and ends with an exhilarating car chase scene.
The foursome is back on the highways, this time accompanied by Tania’s parents explaining how she wouldn’t stop lying about being abducted by aliens (and the things you have to tell your wife!), through the sandy roads leading towards an underground base which could be of the US government, some aliens or something, its getting too difficult to emphasize it at this stage. The crashing of overdone graphics where the characters that the storyline is focused pupils threatening are never in the same frame does not appear to resolve the problem either.
Let me start my first impression of Lumina. Yes, this film has a lengthy run time of almost two hours. So, instead of wasting your time on a two hour movie, perhaps you could pick up something different to watch. The film does lack proper character arc on many of the protagonists resulting in multiple incomplete scenes which contributed to the considerable feeling of incoherency. Although I have to admit that I do remember that creative scene involving the goat.
But of course not, maybe that is the exact intention. The film that has so irked me is definitely ‘The Room’ and to be fair, I’ve never stopped thinking of it. Not sure if i can recall ‘Lumina’ since it played out like a horrible dream in motion where aliens abducted me. It surely isn’t the ideal way to lose a horrible nightmare, so I don’t think it would be that interesting in the end.
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