
Asylum’s newest movie, Continental Split focuses on a very sensitive topic that will probably cause a ruckus based on its reception. It’s not about the upcoming elections but rather a geological study that is likely to create the biggest saga in history, the greater Rift Valley that runs through the Midwest.
Unfortunately, it begins on an off note when it depicts how a government geologist called Quintin Mims (NoHo: A North Hollywood Story, Christmas Down Under) who is trying to figure out why a new frozen lake has developed in the area, ends up having an intense confrontation with a nearby fisherman. The main issue in this scenario besides the clichéd and uninspired back and forth from both men and women during the angry scenario where the lake is there for only 3 and the dock appears to have existed for many decades already.
I suppose it is not very significant because the lake and the dock are rapidly swallowed into a giant sinkhole as the eye from the ground shakes was just a matter of time. So it does happen in a place called New Madrid which almost lurched Eric (Crew Morrow, The Bold and the Beautiful) and Brenda (Roxanne G.C. Brooks, Road to the Well, The Snow is Always Whiter).
Dr. Cami Weddle aka Eric’s Mother played by Jessica Morris, attempts to prevent Eric’s sister from bickering with her in a different scene. Now it is time for Eric who is now getting paid to contact his sister Emily Weddle played by actress Allison Gold, and propose that she move in with her father Alan, already played by Chris Bruno, who has a better chance of finding her a good job.
This is hardly a surprise to anyone familiar with the whole horror scene. The Asylum’s movies are such a hard-core ‘mash-up’ in the presence of The Continental Split. Just like in the above scenario, it seems that algebra is necessary to make a single step. So Cami and Alan broke up because she advocates for environmental issues, while he has fracking plants that are responsible for the recent quakes. Do they have at least the remotest chance of solving these problems and so, both the continent and their marriage? I think we all know the answer to that.
Indeed, there is an active major fault line in the region known as the New Madrid Seismic Zone, although it has been quiet ever since an earthquake sequence that occurred in 1811 and 1812, which is said to be the time the Mississippi River was reversed. Here, however, we see some real professionally developed science in Continental Split, which is the first for this company.
Sadly, for the most part, it gets buried under a barrage of resoundingly flimsy plot devices, like the love triangle drama between Cami, Allen’s, and Cami’s friend who has recently proposed to her (Canyon Prince, Timecop: The Berlin Decision, Fortress) turned lover she recently gets in. To make things worse, there is a goofy evil Earthquake specialist who appears to come straight from Uncle Sam’s Twister. His diabolical scheme is to destroy a warhead sitting right upon the fault line guaranteed to stop the earthquakes from happening forever.
However, the director Nick Lyon (On Fire, Christmas in Vienna) and screenwriters Gil Luna (Population 2 the Directors Cut, Attack on Titan) and Joe Roche (Attack of the Meth Gator, Alien Conquest) never try to keep the viewer from the compulsory number of quake scenes which viewers of such films are used to expect, though they indeed are very entertaining.
A Sorry State of Affairs is an atrocity. Even the visuals aren’t that great, but Upper Canada’s cool stereotypes are entertaining, and the calm Canadian Western scenery is a delight.
The filming takes place around the Great Lakes and features Canada’s north, yet after seeing a truly cool start with explosions cars descending from the skies, and upside-down landscapes which go great with the music, everything else follows suit. After the sun explodes and the earth begins to burn it exhibits a poorly done CGI quality tainted gunship to deliver the boring final nail in the coffin.
The more I look for the context within this film, the more confusing things get Canadian aerial views of South America, and attempts to tell a story of Canadian prosperity intertwined with Italian events. And all that in parallel a massive earthquake appeared out of nowhere during a gentle introduction told in a horizontal rotating header built into a book. Ottawa’s khaki costume design and beautifully crafted post-goth evolution attire blend into the scenery and are hard to distinguish.
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